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2. Bring every room back to "ready." I learned this trick from Marilyn Paul's clever book, It's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys. It's a known fact: Clutter causes stress; order creates a haven from it. This mood-boosting routine is simple: Take about three minutes to bring each room back to "ready" before you depart it. (Unless you have a toddler, or a partner who likes to simulate earthquakes, three minutes should be sufficient.)
3. Display sentimental items around your home. One reason that experiences (and memories of those experiences) make us happier than material things is due to the entire cycle of enjoyment that experiences provide: planning the experience, looking forward to the experience, enjoying the experience, and then remembering the experience. Make your home a gallery of positive memories.
4. Start a one-line-a-day gratitude journal. Before bed, simply jot down one happy memory from that day. (If you have kids, you can ask them, "What was the best part of today?") Reflection is an important part of happiness, and pausing to reflect on a positive event from each day cultivates gratitude. (An added bonus: Later, when your memory is defunct, you will already have all of your meaningful adventures recorded!) If you have trouble getting started with journaling, consider buying a book to guide you. Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, is a great one.
5. If you can't get out of it, get into it. This tip comes from The Happiness Project. I love the message: The dishes are not going to clean themselves, so you will do it, and you will like it! (Unless, of course, you can outsource this job, in which case I say: Nice work!) Otherwise, get into doing the dishes. Feel the soothing warm water on your hands. Enjoy the tickle of the tiny bubbles. Crank your favorite album at an unusually loud volume, do a couple fist-pumps while shouting "Can I get a hell yeah for the dishes? Hell! Yeah!" and pretend you love it.
6. Before you get up each morning, set an intent for the day. In The Art of Happiness, the Dali Lama says ""Every day, think as you wake up: today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it." Wow. What a wise man. I tend to wake up with a strong visceral reaction that says, "Attention human beings: Be afraid of me before coffee. Be very afraid!" Setting a daily intent makes a huge difference. Your daily intent could be something like "be productive" or "enjoy today's delicious moments" or it could be something more specific like "say thank you to my loved ones today." But it should not be another "to do" item on your list.
7. Do small favors for your housemates, expecting nothing in return (not even a thank you!). (That's right, I said it: nothing!) Mow the lawn for your husband, but don't expect him to pat you on the back. Make the bed for your wife, but don't try to get bonus points for it. Take the trash out for your roommate, just because. The ability to cultivate strong, healthy relationships is one of the biggest contributors to health and happiness, but when you start to keep score, the benefit is lost. (No! It's YOUR turn to clean up the dog poop!) It's a well-known fact: When you do good, you feel good.
8. Call at least one friend or family member a day. You can do this while you clean, while you make the bed, or while you walk the dog. Texts and emails do not count! Make an actual phone call to a loved one, just to chat and catch up. We humans are social beings and studies show that even when we don't feel like it, even if we are naturally introverted, socializing with our loved ones makes us feel better.
9. Spend money on things that cultivate experiences at home. Save money for a new grill for parties or a new DVD for family movie night — something that will encourage you to have people over and entertain. Plan a summer barbeque, invite your closest friends, kick back and relax. (And don't forget to print out the pictures to remember the good times.)
10. Spend a few minutes each day connecting with something greater than yourself. Whatever your spiritual beliefs — or non-beliefs — may be, studies show that connecting to a high power is correlated with happiness. Just stepping back to realize that we are part of an enormous universe can put some perspective on your annoyance with the those-are-definitely-not-mine-and-they-are-abso-fricking-lutely-repulsive socks under the coffee table. Before bed, spend just a few minutes contemplating something larger than yourself. Take a walk in nature. Write in a journal. Create a sacred space in your home. (Or if spirituality is really not your thing, create a home spa: light some candles, soak in a hot bath, delve into a good book… are you feeling better yet?)
(Image: Callen & Eli's Artful Treehouse)
Re-edited from a post originally published 7.19.12 - JL
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Don't
forget to spend time giving lots of love to your 4-legged family
members. Nothing relaxes me more than to sit and chill with my cats.
I am right with you.... nothing relaxes me more than seeing our Pom play with our Min pin.
@VoluptuousVegan
They were probably trying to make these applicable to as many readers
as possible. So while you can squeeze your pet into the tips of being
nice to somebody for no reason, the rest of us would not come out well
if we patted people in our lives on the head.
I'm
really taking #1 and 2 to heart. As a somewhat lifelong "messy"
person, I am trying very hard to stay on top of keeping the house neat
and the bed made. I can't tell you how much I annoy myself when I have
to do a last minute pick-up around the house before my husband comes
home or guests are coming over. I'm so embarrassed when someone drops
in unexpectedly and things are not tidy. When thngs are neat, I feel so
virtuous!
You
just described me to a T. I could've written the exact words. I figured
out a way that works for me....when my mind starts to speak, " it's
getting really messy, really dirty...i should clean.." i get overwhelmed
and sit and watch tv or check facebook...so...what i do now (for the
most part) is while indulging in couch potato bliss, if a thought creeps
into my mind about cleaning, I instantly just get up, and do one thing.
Then I finish, and sit back down. This can go one for hours where I'll
do one thing every hour or so. But at the end of the day, right before
hubby gets home, I just have some finishing touches, and the house is
pretty clean! Somehow it's been working like a charm.
@wishes201
Am horrid about that as well. I started putting the timer in the
kitchen on in 15 min/30 min increments. I have to finish something by
the buzzer.
@SD_Arch
With washing the dishes I am either obsessively clean and tidy with
nothing in the sink or near it, or do nothing for several days. I have
never understood this as I am a tad OCD in the rest of the apartment and
life in general. But the thought of lovely warm water and bubbles on
your hands makes it all seem kinda magical. Time to wash up!! Also a
clean and tidy kitchen does make me happier and also want to cook more!
Hmm.
Declutter but display sentimental objects? I thought sentimental
objects WERE clutter, in the deranged philosophy of the clutter-free! I
love my stuff!
@ccrat
- i think that's a balance. If you get rid of all the *meaningless*
clutter (like, that cute thingamajig you picked up at Crate and Barrel,
that was cute then, but just another thing now) then you have room for
the stuff that actual resonates with you, that triggers a memory other
than "oh, i was at the mall that day...."
@AndieDH
This! The kind of clutter that causes stress isn't just exceeding some
arbitrary density of things. It's any number of things that aren't happy
where they are -- whether it's because they're in the wrong place or
just the wrong things.
@AndieDH
Exactly! Our trick is to have 2 shelves for things. Those are the
clutter shelves. Anything coming in has to fit and if it doesn't, we
have to make room.
Of course, at the moment, I've got no right to talk about clutter since recent events has necessitated a rapid turnover of half the bedroom furniture so everything that USED to have a place, currently doesn't so the entire place has fallen to disaster as we try to figure out where everything can go. (Having to redo the walls certainly doesn't help either) :)
Worst part is that you just can't rush it or I just wind up boxing the whole lot and tossing it into the closet where it just breeds even worse over time. Oh well. We'll get it sorted, and correctly, in the end.
Of course, at the moment, I've got no right to talk about clutter since recent events has necessitated a rapid turnover of half the bedroom furniture so everything that USED to have a place, currently doesn't so the entire place has fallen to disaster as we try to figure out where everything can go. (Having to redo the walls certainly doesn't help either) :)
Worst part is that you just can't rush it or I just wind up boxing the whole lot and tossing it into the closet where it just breeds even worse over time. Oh well. We'll get it sorted, and correctly, in the end.
I
agree wholeheartedly with volumptuousvegan! How many times have I come
home from an exhausting day at work and just go through the routines of
cleaning litter boxes, putting down food, walking the dog then
collapsing in a chair in front of the tv (patting a few heads along the
way). I always feel much better after I really connect with my pets,
whether it's chasing the cats around or just talking to them while I do
my chores. When I walk my dog, people must think I'm crazy because I
talk to her all the time while we are walking. She loves hearing me talk
and knows that I'm paying attention to just her instead of walking her
with my smartphone and reading emails all through the walk.
For me, nothing makes me happier then seeing those furry faces when I walk through the door.
For me, nothing makes me happier then seeing those furry faces when I walk through the door.
Pet
therapy is so great, isn't it..My 2 kitties are always so happy to see
me when I get home! I also enjoy my plants and bringing nature in and
onto my balcony. Right now, I can see and smell my potted pink
hyacinths.
@Susie-Q!
Same here! It makes me so happy to get home from work to my kitties
happily chirping and wanting hugs and cuddles from me. I really feel the
love and it washes the stress away. I love them so much! I also like
seeing how my plants grow and thrive even though my inconsiderate
neighbors are always throwing their disgusting cigarette butts in my
potted plants. My plants know I love them too.
Park a comfy chair under the window and just sit and relax or nap or read...
@bejeweled yes! Just taking that chair ,cozying it up to a window. So therapeutic!
truly
couldn't agree more with ALL of these!!! It's so important to take
action to make a happy home, but it really doesn't need to be hard.
Little things go a long way! Great list and a great reminder to all!
all great reminders!
i let my toddler help me with the dishes. yes a bit crazy and yes there is an increased chance of breakage but it keeps him busy - BUBBLES! - keeps us engaged with each other (being a working mama) and gets the dishes DONE.
i let my toddler help me with the dishes. yes a bit crazy and yes there is an increased chance of breakage but it keeps him busy - BUBBLES! - keeps us engaged with each other (being a working mama) and gets the dishes DONE.
@pinkberry--great idea, and will learn technique without being Told.
know a three-year old who makes the family fried eggs for breakfast, in big pan on gas stove, b/c three-year old requested this lesson. proper supervision & technique means kid has stayed burn-free, engaged, and Giving. due to maturity in motor coordination, would not recommend chef knives until age six, but then, with proper supervision & technique, food prep also is opportunity (as it has been for hundreds of years). Vegetables!
know a three-year old who makes the family fried eggs for breakfast, in big pan on gas stove, b/c three-year old requested this lesson. proper supervision & technique means kid has stayed burn-free, engaged, and Giving. due to maturity in motor coordination, would not recommend chef knives until age six, but then, with proper supervision & technique, food prep also is opportunity (as it has been for hundreds of years). Vegetables!
Feel the soothing warm water on your hands. Enjoy the tickle of the tiny bubbles.
Holy cow! I see an opening for a new project entitled "50 Shades of Apartment Therapy"
Holy cow! I see an opening for a new project entitled "50 Shades of Apartment Therapy"
@
Possum. Thank you! :-) Like you, nothing makes me happier than to
walk through the door after a long day and being greeted by my cats, all
waiting for food and love. Animals are so chill.
@possum
and @voluptuousvegan I completely agree with you both--and I should
have included something in the post about connecting with your pets. I
believe scientists say that after you hug someone for four seconds, you
get a rush of feel-good hormones. I would say four seconds of petting
your dog (cat, whatever your pleasure) achieves the same goal! Plus,
your pet never complains, and always seems to have that sixth
sense--knowing, without a word, exactly how you feel in that moment.
So true. Lovely advice.
Great
and very timely post. I've been working on incorporating these
principles into my life over the past few months and they have made a
tremendous difference in my happiness level. Especially the dishes...
I
have perfected the art of #1 to the point that I can do most of the
bed-making while still in it! Then I only need fold back the side to
exit, then fold back up and put the pillows in order. It kinda makes me
laugh to do it this way, which is a great way to start the day.
My cat is a major contributor to my home happiness factor!
My cat is a major contributor to my home happiness factor!
O
fellow pet lovers... I think they addressed this in #10: "Spend a few
minutes each day connecting with something greater than yourself." I'm
only half joking.... My much-missed dog was much more forgiving &
loving than I can hope to be.
(I'm decluttering with a purpose lately -- trying to free up enough space in this tiny house to exchange a shelving unit for a doggie bed.)
(I'm decluttering with a purpose lately -- trying to free up enough space in this tiny house to exchange a shelving unit for a doggie bed.)
Nice!
I love item number 5 :)
I love item number 5 :)
How
did I know before even clicking the link that one of the items (in this
case, bot #1 and #2) was going to involve cleaning...
This
is a beautiful post and I have to say - seriously - I have applied #5
to my marriage. My husband and I are not always naturally happy together
but we work hard to consciously value each other and appreciate each
other and that work pays off in a genuinely happy home. Can I get a hell
yeah for working on your marriage?!?
Home is where my family is.
Home is where my family is.
Great
post... some really simple tips to really make a big impact! I really
love #4 - truly focusing on the positive of every day can really change
your perspective on life. Something good happens everyday and we tend to
not notice those moments because angry/upset moments can overshadow
them. Thanks for posting this :)
I
live in a small NYC apartment and lucky enough to face west. I take a
moment to watch the sunset if lucky enough to get home on time. The
colors of the sky and shapes of the clouds I find so calming, like a
changing display. Even in this heat it makes me happy.
@Scoot- BAHAHAHAH!
Great
post and great ideas - and I do apply most of them! The whole concept
of happiness for the home is my real motivator - especially for my Happy
Interior Blog:-)
I love all of these tips and will attempt a few of them today!
5. I don't understand this fad for being happy all
the time. It's healthy to feel bad about things sometimes. Without
conflict there is no conflict resolution which strips us of enriching
epiphanies. It's healthy to identify what makes you feel bad so you know
what needs changing.
8: Socializing with our loved ones doesn't always make you feel better, if you're naturally introverted, it can make you feel worse. That's why texts and email are a saving grace for introverts and facilitate more interaction without draining us as much as phone calls do, thereby creating a bridge between introverts and extroverts. How about "or save a slice of time to call a loved one each day for a week if you're an introvert," so what would have otherwise been an enjoyable experience doesn't turn into a two-hour long suckfest because extroverts need to talk.
I think it's more important to focus on balance than pushing toward any one extreme.
8: Socializing with our loved ones doesn't always make you feel better, if you're naturally introverted, it can make you feel worse. That's why texts and email are a saving grace for introverts and facilitate more interaction without draining us as much as phone calls do, thereby creating a bridge between introverts and extroverts. How about "or save a slice of time to call a loved one each day for a week if you're an introvert," so what would have otherwise been an enjoyable experience doesn't turn into a two-hour long suckfest because extroverts need to talk.
I think it's more important to focus on balance than pushing toward any one extreme.
@fauxfaux as a fellow introvert, I agree.
I'm
a total introvert so calling and talking to someone everyday can be
hard -- but I do notice an upswing in mood and I'm pulled out of my own
head (if that's a word) when I do. But it's easier to make happen about
once a week.
I think the pets comment can be extended to family in general (because pets are part of your family) -- it's always worth it to turn off the tv or whatever and just hug and kiss your spouse/children and tell them you love them. It takes less than a minute and helps de-stress your day.
I think the pets comment can be extended to family in general (because pets are part of your family) -- it's always worth it to turn off the tv or whatever and just hug and kiss your spouse/children and tell them you love them. It takes less than a minute and helps de-stress your day.
Love
them all, especially #4. I used to journal, but I don't have time
anymore for extensive, long, reflective entries, so I started using
Keel's Simple Diary (http://www.simplediary.com/)
for short little reflections. I love it because I don't really have to
think about what I'm doing but it gives me time to pause!
I love #2.
Thank
you for this post, I am right now a few days on vacation but I
bookmarked them for all days coming soon when I am back home and back at
work!
turn
off the tech! I'll admit, I spend WAY too much time watching shows and
browsing Pinterest. But when I make myself turn it off and sit on the
porch with a glass of sweet tea and a beloved magazine, or put on a
record and cook a new recipe, it feels so good!
Ten things to make you happy at home . . . let me see
six cats + two pots of dark roast coffee + a good book = 9
Oh!! Forgot . . . 1 spouse. That makes 10.
six cats + two pots of dark roast coffee + a good book = 9
Oh!! Forgot . . . 1 spouse. That makes 10.
Can't
do many of these things... cannot do journals, it's just not part of my
makeup. Not calling "loved ones" daily -- the one I live with would
consider that bizarre, and my brother is the only immediate family
member left, and we don't get along. (His mental illness is a barrier I
can't overcome.) Not "setting a goal" for the day, I don't find those
mental games successful for me. Some personalities don't lend themselves
to this whole "spiritual" stuff...
But I will play with my cats and keep my home pretty clutter free...
But I will play with my cats and keep my home pretty clutter free...
I
overheard the best advice at the gym one day: another person changing
nearby me mentioned that she needs to wake up early enough to have
"stare-off-into-space time." I love that idea. Instead of waking up at
the very latest minute that I can, now I get up a little earlier to tidy
up, read, drink coffee, etc. I'm always so busy or tired after work, so
that time lets me really enjoy where I live, first thing in the
morning.
I
like the list. I try to de-clutter as I go. I have gotten out of the
habit of making my bed, but it does make a difference. I have resolved
to start doing that again. I have the Simple Abundance book, and it's
great. Another inspirational author is Alexandra Stoddard. She has
written several books dealing with the home and gracious living. Many of
her books have inspirational quotes on each page.
Another thing that makes me happy at home is to burn a scented candle or turn on my wax tart warmer. I have a Scentsy, and it's fabulous.
Another thing that makes me happy at home is to burn a scented candle or turn on my wax tart warmer. I have a Scentsy, and it's fabulous.
Lovely list. I'm working on #2 and #10!
Another
great post. It is crazy how much of a difference making your bed
makes! I love everyone's advice about connecting with pets -they make
every day manageable. I really need to tackle #2 -our clutter is on too
great a scale to spend just 3 mins on though. :/
If
the mess or lack of order at home is getting you down, go out and do an
enjoyable activity. It won't matter nearly as much when you get back
after having had a good time. Or invite people over.
And have a glass of wine.
Yoga is also a good way to relax especially after work.
@
pearmelon- that's what I was going to say. I nice glass of wine in the
evening brings the stress level down a notch and everything seems a
little more happy. Great post BTW. I will definitely apply some of these
to my life.
Sort
of in the #7 vein, but also related to the pet owners who enjoy being
greeted by their fuzzy faced friends. BE the fuzzy face who welcomes
your roommates home with enthusiasm. I don't have a dog right now, but
my toddler daughter has reminded me that nothing feels better than
coming home from work to someone who is THRILLED to see you and comes
running and shouting your name with excitement. I realized that I can
play that role for visitors, but most importantly, my family, whenever
they walk in the front door and it totally sets a tone for the evening.
And
for those renters that can't have pets, you can usually covet thy
neighbors w/o retaliation. I've found as much unconditional love from
the neighbor's dog as if he were my own. Work out a deal to be the
official post-work dog walker and it's a win-win.
Love
these. I avoid the dishes, but always love doing them once I get
started. And relaxing with my cats is so...relaxing. I'm so much more at
peace when my house is in order. Like there's nothing nagging for me to
do.
Love this post. Thanks, Jackie! You almost make me want to wash some dishes!!!
Thanks for that!
This is easily one of my top favoritest posts from AT ever. :)
This is easily one of my top favoritest posts from AT ever. :)
Love this - And I can't wait to share it. All of it is so true, and easily forgotten with all of our day to day tasks.
I've
been doing #1 and #2 forever, and swear by them. To the point that I
can't go to bed without walking around the living room and tidying up.
Remotes away in a drawer, rugs folded, cushions straightened, coffee table wiped clean, newspapers folded, books back on shelves... and in the kitchen, dishes always done and benches wiped clean and clear.
If (like me) you're not a morning person, it makes a HUGE difference to how you feel when you get up the next day.
Remotes away in a drawer, rugs folded, cushions straightened, coffee table wiped clean, newspapers folded, books back on shelves... and in the kitchen, dishes always done and benches wiped clean and clear.
If (like me) you're not a morning person, it makes a HUGE difference to how you feel when you get up the next day.
Thank you.
I've
been doing most of this list all my life, I actually have the #7
personality which sadly, can attract "takers" I def have too many of
those in my life.
The rest of the list, including making my bed, I do just for ME!!
The rest of the list, including making my bed, I do just for ME!!
One of my favorite AT posts ever. Also love the positive attitude in everyone's comments.
Thanks :)
Thanks :)
Hell yeah! Hell yeah! That's for washing the dishes twice today. :) I LOVE all the tips! Fabulous!
I now realise I've been doing No. 2 (Bring every room back to "ready.")
since I moved into my current house, and it makes such a difference. I
love that every time I go into a room it's "ready to go" and I don't
have to clean things or clear things out of the way before I can do what
I'm there for (cook, watch TV, read the Sunday papers, get into bed,
whatever). It's definitely a less stressful way to live, and because
you're in effect "micro-tidying" as you go along it's much much easier
to keep clean (which is also less stressful).
@WITNESS TO REALITY - brilliant LOL
@WITNESS TO REALITY - brilliant LOL
Rocking chairs. Everyone needs them!
And sort of like the Dalai Lama, every morning I wake up and try to remember to say before anything else pops into my head: "thank you for bringing my soul back into my body" I read somewhere doing that is (no doubt simplified & adapted) part of the daily ritual prayers of Orthodox Jews, which I am not, but I really loved the idea. I think it has actually improved my life since I started doing it. And if I forget and remember later in the day, then I say it when I remember! I am happy to have awakened again in the world, and hope to make the best of it!
And sort of like the Dalai Lama, every morning I wake up and try to remember to say before anything else pops into my head: "thank you for bringing my soul back into my body" I read somewhere doing that is (no doubt simplified & adapted) part of the daily ritual prayers of Orthodox Jews, which I am not, but I really loved the idea. I think it has actually improved my life since I started doing it. And if I forget and remember later in the day, then I say it when I remember! I am happy to have awakened again in the world, and hope to make the best of it!
It's refreshing to read a design post geared to the spiritual/emotional side to making a house a home. Thank you!
...
and fresh flowers. I buy a $5 bouquet at Trader Joes and put one
spring in a bud vase in the bathroom, another in a bud vase on a table
by the entry and the rest on my coffee table. It costs the same as a
mocha coffee, has less calories and lasts much longer.
... typo. 'sprig' not 'spring'. my bad.
Such a wonderful post - you inspired us to let our readers know about it!! http://livinglivelier.blogspot.com/2012/07/your-home-happy-place.html
Keep the good advice coming!!
Keep the good advice coming!!
I
am so thrilled to see this list. Thank you, thank you!! It's so
healthy and rewarding to actually practice and live this list. Love to
see that accepting, connecting and living with a power greater than self
is part of the package. All this stuff works, it really does. I live
it with gratitude every day...not perfectly, but I have my 'list' to get
me back on track. Simple, isn't it.
I
agree! Wine (or even a beer) after work gives me that moment to just
enjoy being. And calms me down from my normal DO DO DO pace.
We
leave the house spic-n-span before a trip, so that coming home feels
good. I also spend time every morning in silent prayer and meditation,
which changes everything. You did, however, give me a Life-Changing
Idea! We have several dogs. Only the chihuahua sheds, and she cries
if not allowed on the furniture. I'm a push-over. The chihuahua in
your photo wears a fitted t-shirt! This will substantially limit her
spiky little hairs all over the house! It will save one of our lives!
A
simple thing that would make you happier at home--and everywhere--is
giving up outdated gender norms (#7 "make the bed for your WIFE," "mow
the lawn for your HUSBAND"). My calendar says 2012. Yours must be stuck
on 1952.
Another
thing to make my home richer and more peaceful that I've been trying to
do is remember to put some music on! I have a tendency to either be
concentrating (reading a book) or doing something else noisy (watching
tv, talking on the phone), and I forget that there is plenty of
in-between time (making dinner, playing with my cat), when taking a
moment to go over and put on some music would really lift me up and fill
the house with beauty.
Oh and I have to include one of my favorite quotes, which I believe applies to all pets:
"I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul."
- Jean Cocteau
"I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul."
- Jean Cocteau
Couldn't agree more with Violet.
Calls made to me when the caller is going from here-to-there make me feel devalued. Just a way to fill in time.
When someone is doing housework, checking their email or driving their car, ditto.
#8. Nope. Full attention to our conversation or please don't call.
Calls made to me when the caller is going from here-to-there make me feel devalued. Just a way to fill in time.
When someone is doing housework, checking their email or driving their car, ditto.
#8. Nope. Full attention to our conversation or please don't call.
I
love these...but a gentle reminder for those of you whose lives are
filled with family and close friends..the guideline, 'speak to at least
one friend or family member a day' is not possible for many of us.
So I say include emails and Facebook and texts...if phoning or face to face is tricky, to keep in touch with those you love..they have made a difference in my life, which otherwise would feel emptier without them
So I say include emails and Facebook and texts...if phoning or face to face is tricky, to keep in touch with those you love..they have made a difference in my life, which otherwise would feel emptier without them
@Siam
and Violet (re: people who call while they're doing something else) - I
kind of agree. If someone ONLY called me at these times, and never
wanted to see me face-to-face either, it would bother me.
OTOH, I do have friends who mostly call while they're driving home from work, cleaning the house, etc., to whom I would otherwise rarely speak. One friend has 3 kids, a demanding partner, and works very long hours, but we really enjoy chatting. He often buzzes me while he's stuck in traffic.Technically, I suppose it'd be nicer if he'd sit down with a coffee before calling, but sometimes it pays to be flexible. :)
OTOH, I do have friends who mostly call while they're driving home from work, cleaning the house, etc., to whom I would otherwise rarely speak. One friend has 3 kids, a demanding partner, and works very long hours, but we really enjoy chatting. He often buzzes me while he's stuck in traffic.Technically, I suppose it'd be nicer if he'd sit down with a coffee before calling, but sometimes it pays to be flexible. :)
I like the article--the plaid, fuchsia blanket caught my eye. Where is it from?
I
love FAUXFAUX's comment about balance. I strive for balance in my crazy
hectic insane lifestyle. I also couldn't agree more with the comments
about pets - when I'm with my horse I completely forget about my above
lifestyle, even though he contributes :) and YES to yoga......
in the wake of the horrible tragedy in CO we sometimes are occupied with too much small stuff.
be nice to each other and hug your family as much as you can.
be nice to each other and hug your family as much as you can.
love
this post - thanks!=) (but it kinda feels like a repeat like ive seen
it a few entries back..oh, whatever, stay thankful =))
I
love number 5 but I have enough stress from my neighbour who can't
think past the end of his nose that other people live in the world
(right next door) and has only one volume all the time...LOUD. Loud
truck, loud voice, loud music. He is a neighbour that needs to dial it
down.
@
grapevine: you mentioned "stare-off-into-space time." This is great
advice & something that we've all forgotten how to do ever since
adults started labeling children as ADD for doing that exact thing. The
more doctors & drug companies figured out how much money cold be
made the more they convinced parents & teachers that "staring off
into space" was a bad thing & needed to be stopped- & they had
just the drug to help! Add to the mix the never ending tail chasing
habit of "multi tasking" in order to "get it all done" & you have an
unhealthy cocktail of stress induced anxiety. Oh, but they have a drug
for that as well. How convenient!
So, yes, let's bring back the old fashioned "stare off into space time" aka "day dreaming" & enjoy giving ourselves The Gift of Nothing (If you are a pet lover & a fan of "Mutts" by Patrick McDonnell you will totally get that reference. If you are a pet lover & do not know about Mutts then you will want to check them out!). I'm going to go stare off into space now!
So, yes, let's bring back the old fashioned "stare off into space time" aka "day dreaming" & enjoy giving ourselves The Gift of Nothing (If you are a pet lover & a fan of "Mutts" by Patrick McDonnell you will totally get that reference. If you are a pet lover & do not know about Mutts then you will want to check them out!). I'm going to go stare off into space now!
By
the way, Clothier Jones Furniture, thanks for the Manatee link!!! I
lived in Florida for 10 years & nothing was sweeter than to see them
swimming up & down the canal out back of my house. Always a treat
every day & never got tiring!
Ah!
I can't help but add one more thing (my internet time is limited so I
try to get as much done in this small time as possible)- Just want to
say that if people are calling you to chat while they are driving, do us
all a favor- and especially the caller- ask them to hang up and drive!
The very act of talking on a phone while driving is a stress inducer! We
are the people in the other cars while your friend (or family member)
is weaving from lane to lane yakking away oblivious to MY life! And
imagine this- your friend is yakking away to you while on their cell
phone & driving, killing time or whatever, and the last thing you
hear them say is "oh my god I'm about to crash!" (or some variation of
that). It happened to a friend of mine- the last thing she heard her
husband say was "oh my god!" & she heard the crash over the phone.
He didn't make it, the other people were severely injured, & now my
friend lives with the knowledge that her husband was at fault & that
was her last memory of his voice. So do everyone a favor & tell
your yakking on the cell phone while driving friends to hang up &
drive. They just may live to take you up on that offer of coffee! Have a
sweet & stress free day!
This
is a really great post, thanks, AT! Although I don't agree with
everything, these are very good suggestions. I used to make my bed every
morning (something that AT taught me) and then I abandoned it. Time to
get into it again!
I do realize that it must say a lot about the state of my house if I say that 3 minutes per room are NOT enough (LOL). But I get the concept.
@ VoluptuousVegan and Possum - we are definitely soulmates! I actually look forward to see my dogs after work and their excitement when I open the door is the best moment of each day.
@ FauxFax, thanks for the nod to us introverts.
Re the "spare off into space time" - this is a habit that I have been practising for decades. I get up really early (part of it is because I have dogs and they get a little bit of food in the morning, so I feel I need to give them some time [I cannot feed them and disappear for 10 hours]). I routinely read in the morning, watch HGTV shows, etc. In summer, I prefer to get up at 5:30 to walk the dogs because I refuse to go anywhere in the infernal temperatures and humidity we have been having. A couple of times a week I swim in the a.m. - I get up at 5:15 in order to hit the pool at 5:45. It is actually a really great start of a day.
I do realize that it must say a lot about the state of my house if I say that 3 minutes per room are NOT enough (LOL). But I get the concept.
@ VoluptuousVegan and Possum - we are definitely soulmates! I actually look forward to see my dogs after work and their excitement when I open the door is the best moment of each day.
@ FauxFax, thanks for the nod to us introverts.
Re the "spare off into space time" - this is a habit that I have been practising for decades. I get up really early (part of it is because I have dogs and they get a little bit of food in the morning, so I feel I need to give them some time [I cannot feed them and disappear for 10 hours]). I routinely read in the morning, watch HGTV shows, etc. In summer, I prefer to get up at 5:30 to walk the dogs because I refuse to go anywhere in the infernal temperatures and humidity we have been having. A couple of times a week I swim in the a.m. - I get up at 5:15 in order to hit the pool at 5:45. It is actually a really great start of a day.
@
CanadianMango: Way to go!!! I do the same- get up early, make the
coffee in my travel mug & walk one of my dogs (the other doesn't
like the leash) while sipping coffee, mentally zoning out & digging
on the sunrise & my happy dog, peace & quiet. We head back, I
toss the ball in the yard with them for a little while. Great way to
kick start the day. They crack me up the way they love that stupid
slobbery ball. Their happiness makes me happy. And I agree 100%- it's
crazy to just feed them & leave for 10 hours with out enjoying the
fact that they've honored me by wanting to be with me. They think I am
sooo awesome! Best friends for life!
@
tulpoeid: "uncharacteristically cheesy and
pseudo-sentimental-without-real-value article"? Probably it is. But I
saw it as- if you are happy in your life, then you will be happy in your
home. I know many people who have large incomes, large houses,
expensive cars, two week paid vacations, the latest tech gadgets. But
deep down they aren't happy. They have the "designer kitchen" & all
the IKEA furniture in place. But their homes are devoid of familial
warmth & genuine inner happiness. Religion/higher power aside, if
you aren't happy in your skin, in your life, in the moment then how on
earth can you be happy with any "latest design trend" or make over? New
window treatments won't help your view at all.
Declutter.
I really wish I could invite the super-organized noters here to my
house and help me out of a rut! You would die if you could see the room
I'm currently sitting in. Overwhelming!
I REALLY LIKE THIS ARTICLE
O
dear, I have TWO toddlers AND a partner who likes to simulate
earthquakes (and then pretend they didn't happen) - no hope for me
then...
I
feel inspired! Love, Love, Love this list. While I CANNOT WAIT for
Gretchen Rubin's new book, Happier at Home, Rubin's inspiration for
making your bed ever morning comes from the Fly Lady at flylady.net.
Great post with practical tips. Thank you. Going to call a relative!
My
little sister is a pro at #7, I'm working on #1 and #2, #6 is how I
start my day and I love #3. When you make it party of your daily routine
to remind yourself to be happy you can be.
Thankyou ssoo muchh of this helpful tips !
i'd definitely do it ! ^^
i'd definitely do it ! ^^
@pinkberry,
we do the same! We get so much done when we let our toddler "help."
Great article. I would add that plants/ fresh flowers go a long way to
brighten a room and spirits!
I simply loved it... made my day just reading it! Great post...
I
enjoyed reading this article as well as all of the positive comments. I
just posted this to Twitter and have copied it into my journal as a
reminder. Now to put all 10 suggestions into practice. Thank you!
Love this! Am all over 1 and 3, and I have a sink full of Hell Yeah! that I will take your advice on this afternoon.
Lots of recommendations brought me here - I'm glad they did.
Lots of recommendations brought me here - I'm glad they did.
Great
post. I know I'm coming to it late but these are things anyone could
start tomorrow without any cost involved. I've always made a 'home'
wherever I'm living - be it rented or just staying with people for a bit
- and it makes such a huge difference to how comfortable you feel in
the same space. Going to try a couple of these tips from tomorrow!
Lovely! please, AT, have more posts like this.
Two
years into our marriage, my ex suddenly stopped on his way out to the
car to help me clean the house before we left on vacation. Now,
normally, he would pack the car, then whine while I spent upwards of an
hour cleaning myself. This day he chose to start helping me- without
complaint- and I swear that one act extended the life of our marriage by
three years.
I
do things for others without expecting a payback, but I do call their
attention to it. Did you see I cleaned the closet? I picked up all the
dog poop in the yard.
I say it like I'm happy, not like they were negligent, because I live with people who might not notice and then I could get resentful. I also remind them my birthday is coming so they don't have to feel guilty about missing it. You can see what increases happiness in a household and what decreases it, so when possible I try to go with the former.
I say it like I'm happy, not like they were negligent, because I live with people who might not notice and then I could get resentful. I also remind them my birthday is coming so they don't have to feel guilty about missing it. You can see what increases happiness in a household and what decreases it, so when possible I try to go with the former.
Nice post. Thank you.
Thanks for reminding me that my home need to be simple and just a reflection of who I am to be happy.
We
try and eliminate distractions in our house, like putting the TV in a
closet for a season and turning off the radio. This gives us time to do
things we aspire to do but normally don’t think to do in our everyday
life. Like play instruments. Once all the easy entertainment options are
gone, you find yourself doing really cool creative things, like reading
and making art and walking in nature more.
This also works for stuff in the house. When you have less, there is less to pick up. And with dieting, if I don’t buy the chocolate and I’m home, then I have no choice but to eat the carrot sticks, if that is all there is in the house. It might sound crazy and extreme, but having less is really liberating.
This also works for stuff in the house. When you have less, there is less to pick up. And with dieting, if I don’t buy the chocolate and I’m home, then I have no choice but to eat the carrot sticks, if that is all there is in the house. It might sound crazy and extreme, but having less is really liberating.
This is a beautiful list . I shall try to comply. Seriously good work, AT.
great post
but why by DVD (or books) - unless they are presents? join your public library!
but why by DVD (or books) - unless they are presents? join your public library!
This
is easily the best post I have ever read on AT. Some of the best
nuggets of information collected together on the internet. I'm printing
it out and taping it to my fridge. And I will start enjoying those dirty
dishes if it kills me!
Thank you :)
Thank you :)
I can't believe that there are people who DON'T make the bed and DON'T do the dishes.
thanks
for making my day. What a wonderful thought , or rather series of
thoughtful suggestions to make oneself happy and productive each day.
thanks
for making my day. What a wonderful thought , or rather series of
thoughtful suggestions to make oneself happy and productive each day.
thanks
for making my day. What a wonderful thought , or rather series of
thoughtful suggestions to make oneself happy and productive each day.
It is hard to make a difference when you can't find your keys!
Great list!
Great list!
here are my couple tricks:
------ Do the hardest or worse thing first (clean the toilet, wipe out the fridge)
------ Only clean for 5-10 a few days a week.
------ Do the hardest or worse thing first (clean the toilet, wipe out the fridge)
------ Only clean for 5-10 a few days a week.
LOVE the posts AND the comments!
My addition is to put a bird feeder outside of a window where you can enjoy watching nature from inside your warm and cozy home. It's entertaining and relaxing and it's great for the birds, too!
My addition is to put a bird feeder outside of a window where you can enjoy watching nature from inside your warm and cozy home. It's entertaining and relaxing and it's great for the birds, too!
Unfortunately,
in my building I'll have to relegate my tune blasting to headphones. I
understand what you mean, though, by "get into it." If a chore is
tedious, make a game out of it! When hanging laundry or matching socks,
I'll coordinate colors... I'll stack and play tetris with the dishrack
to fit the most on there. It sounds ridiculous (or OCD) but if there's
no way to get around stuff like that, you might as well make it fun!
No one can say No to a happy life and style, right?
Thanks
especially for "can't get out of it...get into it'. I just moved in and
needed that. Similar to "can't get over it, gotta go through it" and
think that's why I related to it
.....I've moved over 40 times in my 6 decade life. This includes 7 states and one foreign country. My latest move (2 weeks ago) brought me back to a very familiar neighborhood near a university campus... .I love the place...and wish I would have found it sooner. Tons of light and walk-in closets. The place actually inspired me to sign up with Apartment Therapy. I guess it wants me to take good care of it! Look forward to getting happy, helpful emails. Thanks.
.....I've moved over 40 times in my 6 decade life. This includes 7 states and one foreign country. My latest move (2 weeks ago) brought me back to a very familiar neighborhood near a university campus... .I love the place...and wish I would have found it sooner. Tons of light and walk-in closets. The place actually inspired me to sign up with Apartment Therapy. I guess it wants me to take good care of it! Look forward to getting happy, helpful emails. Thanks.
How
about opening the blinds and letting natural light in? In our hectic
family life, we often forget to do it. And then one of us will march
over and open the blinds/curtains or the front door, and...Voila!
Instant happy. :)
Oh and awesome post AT. More like this please!
Nobody can give up happy life, so attractive tips.
I haven't read all the comments, so someone else may have already addressed this.
You shouldn't make your bed right away. It needs time to air out. While sleeping you're creating a moist, warm environment. Any bacteria will thrive in this if you make your bed right away and contain the warmth. And before anyone gets insulted, we all have bacteria on our bodies. There have been several articles on this in the past year.
Leave the covers/top sheet pulled back and make it the last thing you do. If you have a duvet, that makes it easier since you can just roll it down to the bottom of the bed and then pull it up later.
You shouldn't make your bed right away. It needs time to air out. While sleeping you're creating a moist, warm environment. Any bacteria will thrive in this if you make your bed right away and contain the warmth. And before anyone gets insulted, we all have bacteria on our bodies. There have been several articles on this in the past year.
Leave the covers/top sheet pulled back and make it the last thing you do. If you have a duvet, that makes it easier since you can just roll it down to the bottom of the bed and then pull it up later.
I really second that
I have always let out my sheets to air every morning, and then doing my bed first thing when i get home.
But the cleanest thing would be to let it air all day long.
I have always let out my sheets to air every morning, and then doing my bed first thing when i get home.
But the cleanest thing would be to let it air all day long.
Great
tips! I think making the bed automatically neatens up a room, even when
you can't get all the rest of the clutter back in its place. BUT: you
should leave your bed unmade one day a week or so, for at least a couple
of hours, to air out. Your sweat, skin cells, and body bacteria get
trapped under the blankets and sheets of a made bed, so unless you're
washing weekly, you should be airing out a little here and there.
Some
of these are just plain common sense! however the hell yeah for doing
the dishes is utter tosh!! sorry but i would feel a prize wolly for
celebrating doing dishes!
I'm starting the daily gratitude today on my twitter! Great Ideas https://twitter.com/NiceLeighDone
Over
the course of this past year I've reread this post several times now.
In my opinion, this is one of the best articles AT has ever published.
Thank you.
While
I love this whole post....there's an OMG factor. 'Get rid of clutter'
is followed by 'display sentimental items around your home'. Dear lordy,
living 65 years as I have, lived in 10 states and a foreign country,
love folklore and art, raised two kids who are painters, been a pro
photographer and the oldest of a family that had parents who collected
Mexican furniture, masks and were fabric designers.......Please come
over and tell me how to do both of these things. Yikes! I do make my
bed, and am happy for it.....and thanks.
I love my home and I love to be at home. I am a Virgo and we are very domestic.
interesting tips. Get happier and happier.
Okay,
great post but... " Mow the lawn for your husband, but don't expect
him to pat you on the back. Make the bed for your wife, but don't try to
get bonus points for it. "
So normally it's the man's job to mow the lawn while the wife's job to make the bed? How droll. Het people are so predictable and sexist.
So normally it's the man's job to mow the lawn while the wife's job to make the bed? How droll. Het people are so predictable and sexist.
I
love this piece. Home is a state of mind, and I think we all have to
make a concerted effort to be happy. We all lead trying lives, and it
usually doesn’t just happen by accident. I’ll be applying some of the
ideas listed here in my own life, and I’d like to add an idea: Spend at
least an hour relaxing, sleeping, reading or whatever in an air-purified
room. Make yourself a sanctuary or better yet, buy a purifier big
enough for the entire living space. The easier breathing is exhilarating
and really helps me remain in high spirits.
Thanks so much for the tips! I'll be sharing these!
Synchronicity!
Related to #4, I had just this morning decided that, as counterbalance
to the pressure of my endless to-do lists, I should use the "journal"
function of Cozi to store photos of the little things I encounter around
town that delight me each day.
I thought about Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr, but then I have to worry about the quality of my photos, whether I have a sufficiently witty caption, and whether anybody "likes" it... and this isn't for showing other people how great my life is, but for giving me something to feel happy about when I am not so inclined.
I thought about Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr, but then I have to worry about the quality of my photos, whether I have a sufficiently witty caption, and whether anybody "likes" it... and this isn't for showing other people how great my life is, but for giving me something to feel happy about when I am not so inclined.
Great
post! So often we think that we need to buy more stuff to make
ourselves happy, especially when it comes to our homes. The reality is -
it's usually the simple things that truly make us happy, things that
don't cost money. Thanks for this reminder.
A
few months ago we got a new puppy. Fortunately we have a wonderful dog
park where I try to take him at least 3 or 4 times a week. The
enjoyment I get from watching him play with the other dogs, discover
nature and watching him socialize with other humans is fantistic. He's
always excited to go and seeing him so happy makes us happy.
One
of the best posts here at AT, ever. I know a lot of people don't
believe -- or don't *want* to believe -- that happiness is a choice you
make every day, but it is. It's all about attitude & chosing your
perspective. Cynicism, criticism & chronic negativity --especially
when deliberately cultivated to create a persona some think is
fashionable -- will rot you from the inside out. And may I add another
to this list? Get rid of drama. It's an attention-seeking device that is
boring for everyone. Stop your own, and stop feeding it in other
people. Your life will be a LOT happier!
@Khat
This should be the comment of the day!! Well said and so true!
This should be the comment of the day!! Well said and so true!
Our
dog is a therapy dog and she's got a true knack for bringing me (and
others) such peace & happiness. Oxytocin is good stuff.
The listed items do help bring calm.
The listed items do help bring calm.
I
agree with all of these except making a phone call while walking the
dog. I believe walking your dog is your bonding time with THEM. Talk to
them, pat them, change your speed (jog, brisk walk, slow walk) to keep
them interested. Maybe I'm just crazy and love my dogs too much, but I
think that quality time with them is very important and keeps us all
happier. It also encourages good behavior on their part (no more chewed
shoes!)
@Aelicia
A few times a week I walk my daughter's little black Pomeranian while
she works(I am only allowed 1 pet in my apartment block and already have
a Himalayan cat )and I love this little dog as if she's my own.She
stops to sniff many many times on our walks and I think this is part of
her enjoyment,not just the exercise and its so disappointing to see
others on their phones not paying any attention to their dogs,not even
realising when the dog needs to stop to urinate!I love that you chat to
your furries.They must love you heaps.
if
you have an agreement to share the weight of household chores, whatever
they may be, it's not unreasonable to get annoyed when someone isn't
doing their share.
that being said, do not be that person who expects a fucking cookie every time you pick up after yourself or do your bit. that's called being an adult.
that being said, do not be that person who expects a fucking cookie every time you pick up after yourself or do your bit. that's called being an adult.
No
matter how we're feeling in the a.m. -- caffeine deprived,
insomnia-wrecked, or dreading the workday -- my husband and I always
give each other a kind, loving greeting. A smile and a cheerful "good
morning sweetheart" go a long way in setting a positive vibe for the
day.
7.
being altruistic works as long as it is reciprocated or one feels
reciprocation is unnecessary, like buying coffee for the person behind
you in line one day.
doing for other people and getting nothing in return consistently or feeling an assumption that you always will do will not make you happy; hence, the postings advising that happy people say, "no."
doing for other people and getting nothing in return consistently or feeling an assumption that you always will do will not make you happy; hence, the postings advising that happy people say, "no."
I really enjoyed this list!
One of my favorite parts of my day is before I go to bed - I turn down the bedding, spritz my pillows with lavender pillow mist, do the nightly skincare things -eye cream, serums etc, put away whatever is not in its place while I brush my teeth. And right now because the weather has not made up its mind I like to put on some gloves with a heavy hand cream. Crocodile skin be gone! My flameless candles (on a timer) give a nice glow in the room plus I know what time it is when they start turning off(BEDTIME!)
I need to work on #7. I'm doing better though. I recently had a ton of citrus(I have 2 lime trees, 1 Meyer lemon tree and an orange tree) I took to work for my coworkers just because.
I have The Happiness Project on my Kindle. This post just reminded me to read it! :)
One of my favorite parts of my day is before I go to bed - I turn down the bedding, spritz my pillows with lavender pillow mist, do the nightly skincare things -eye cream, serums etc, put away whatever is not in its place while I brush my teeth. And right now because the weather has not made up its mind I like to put on some gloves with a heavy hand cream. Crocodile skin be gone! My flameless candles (on a timer) give a nice glow in the room plus I know what time it is when they start turning off(BEDTIME!)
I need to work on #7. I'm doing better though. I recently had a ton of citrus(I have 2 lime trees, 1 Meyer lemon tree and an orange tree) I took to work for my coworkers just because.
I have The Happiness Project on my Kindle. This post just reminded me to read it! :)
Fresh cut flowers and plants and candles! Photos of my family. Pretty things.
#5
If you can't get out of it, get into it, example, outsourcing the
dishes... My parents outsourced the dishes when I was little, to me and
my sister. One of us would practice our cooking skills by making dinner
and one would do the dishes.
This is my favorite article on Apartment Therapy.
When I get out of the shower every morning, I thank God for the day, and help in doing good that day.
The little dog in the top pick is adorable. Our dog defiantly makes our home a happier place.
"Can I get a hell yeah for the dishes?" Really?
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